missing

thinking about my mother a great deal lately, perhaps because her birthday is approaching... as is the anniversary of her death. after eighteen years, it pains me to admit i can't remember the sound of her voice or the way she laughed. but certain things always conjure up the essence of her being for me, and this song is one such device. it is gentle and sure and slightly restless, as was she. the beautiful melody is one i could listen to for hours, but a sudden, abrupt ending snuffs it out in the prime of its unfolding. the yearning movement and faintly melancholy mood of this song parallel my own sense of loss, yet all i can do is marvel at its humble beauty. this is how i remember my mother.

"avril 14th" by aphex twin.



*interesting side note: i was totally floored some months ago when i learned that my two favorite aphex twin tracks are also favorites of my dear friend raina's. more recently i finally got around to watching sofia coppola's marie antoinette and was astonished to find these same two songs feature prominently on the soundtrack. i guess great minds really do think alike...